the waiting period

image titled "Boudoir Rouge by Lady Wildflower"

Those sex scenes in the movie certainly didn't include waiting period.

Nobody mentioned about having to wait for sex.

One of those days where I've cleaned up the room (knowing how much easier sex can be with a cleaner room), and send him dirty talk via texts and I've also gotten myself ready to greet him, only to have been in this "waiting period" for almost an hour long.

Thinking watching some free videos on Metacafe.com would salvage the situation. well it did sustain my sexcitement for some time but after reaching the 1.5 hour mark, I found myself totally turned off and not in the mood for anything much.

This is how real sex can get.

All fiction aside,  this waiting period dampens the sex life. Waiting for a man may be anticipation, arousing and exciting. For me, it's a turn off.

Dry spell. Pfft.

How can I be in the art of seduction when my seduction trap fails again, simply because of this "waiting period" of having to wait for the lover to reach home?

. . . 

I got it in my sex room

Ludacris has it right, "I got it in my sex room". 

I have no sex room but I think one of the most important secret to keeping the sex alive is the bedroom. Your bedroom is foreplay.

Two weeks ago, I felt really stifled whenever we had sex. I felt something was not right. Was it the bed? Was it the curtains? The lights? I don't know. The lover took it into his hands to rearrange the furniture in our room. A simple act like that can spice things up.

Our bed creaked, and by that, it meant DISTRACTION for me. However, having rearranged the position of the bed made me more relaxed and it no longer bothered me that my bed creaked. Or that we were trying out some new positions. It made it more lovelier for me that the long vertical mirror was in my face whenever we were banging hard. Previously, I reserved the mirror for vanity purposes, and now that it has accidentally been placed in a very strategic place, kinky sex can happen.

What is that turns me on? I guess, watching and realising that someone is banging me is a turn on. In that same moment, I'm in my fantasy world and yet there I was watching this person get fucked.

And that made me realised my sex style: sensuous Asian style

The way Asians have always had their sex - coy, gentle, subservient

image of Dita von Teese via here

Conditioned Sex

Have you had those days when you tried so hard to be sexy and turn him on, and it just backfires? 

There I was in my shorts and laundre, and thinking I was going to entice him, and when he came through the door, all he could offer was "What are you doing ?"

As if I was doing DOING something.

Bleargh.

So, I have decided that sex should have a sex code - a sex dress code. I'm not talking about playing dress up and all. You know, for women like me, the ones who has a day job and a lover to manage at night, some nights, especially work nights are just sex nights. " I-need-to-get-fucked-cos'-I-would-like-to-sleep-but-I-do-not-want-you-to-know-I'm-that-desperate-for-a-fuck" kinda sex nights. Too tired to burn some scented candles or incense, too lazy to wait for him to slather those sex-me-up creams. So I settled for a hooters' kinda outfit, which did not managed to turn him on, apparently.

So this sex dress code thing - is the same nightie I wore for THE FIRST NIGHT - is the same one I'm going to wear each time I need those desperate sex nights.

Experimenting it; it turned out a success. Pavlov (was it him or Skinner?) theory of conditioning worked for the simple Asian man. Sex nightie = Sex for me.

Maybe I should create a sex UNIFORM. Sex uniform on me, and it conditions my man telling him I am working my ass (pun intended) right now for him.

image via Bernard Bertrand

mind over sex

image via here

Initially I had wanted to write about what women should do to seduce and pleasure men, but now after committing myself to a relationship, I find sex not so simple to figure out, and decide I have no answers or advice.

So I begin reflecting and fantasizing; hence Delilah gives me a space for my alterego to escape from my mundane 9 to 5 job.

I have more questions and thoughts on sex, than answers for it.

In my quest for answers, I shall discover more.

Since young I have been an avid reader of stories , adult sex stories.

Words turn me on more than visuals.

Even if you have to mute the XXX video, I still would get turned on not cos' of the visuals but more of the imagined sounds and conversations I have in my head. At one point in time, I thought I was addicted to sex. Maybe in a strange way, I am addicted to it. Addicted to the thought of sex, but when sex does occur, the rush and excitement most always dies down.

So if asked who or what can turn me on the most, I would say it has to be my mind - my Delilah mind, when I am not Delilah.

. . .

Blow him away

 image source unknown

Men love getting blown.  

Between a hand job and a blow job, I personally prefer the latter. It's way easier, all thanks to my lack of visual-motor coordination. I can't coordinate my hand to his rhythm. 

I guess men like it when women give them a blow job. Whether it is a fucking good one or not, that's secondary. For women to give their men good head, we need to enjoy giving, only that pleasure ensues. 

One thing I have learnt is that give it to them when they least expect it, and you will have them curled up a like a little boy to his mummy. A sudden unzipping of his pants can leave him crippled, for now he is at your mercy. The excitement of his woman wanting to blow him makes him unable to think of anything but "i'm gonna get good head". That will get his dick up fast and quick.

Different men have different "taste". Some like it when the woman suck them hard, some like it fast. Whatever their tastes are, leave some room for surprises. 

How do you keep your man stuck to you? (The thought of him getting a good head from other women, drives me mad, definitely)

Each blowjob has to be treated like the first. Sometimes, take on roles so that you can vary what you are giving him. Maybe you would like to blow him how a schoolgirl would. Maybe the next day you can imagine to be a cougar. One another day, tell him to instruct you. For more excitement, add props. 

One simple trick is to get ready a cup of warm drink and maybe ice cream. Alternate the times you consume these, followed by a good bj, good enough to make him so hard and big, and panting like a small puppy.

Back to giving unpredictable blow jobs - another factor to take into account is the occasion. 

It does help ALOT when in the midst of a public event, you whisper to him to him , telling him how badly you want to go down on him, and give him good head. 

All men love a blowjob. The more important thing to note is who tells whom, and when, to have one.

sex your talk

 original image via here

If you are thinking that your man will get all snuggly and lovey after 'the talk', then you get the formula wrong.

Men don't need the talk. Women do.

What men need is the 'after-talk'. Your man will get all snuggly and lovey. That is if they are getting sex.

The right formula in getting your man to be the 'listen-to-me-comfort-me' man is to offer a truce. Yes, listening to women-talk is painful for some men. So, you give them the possibility of a truce. Listen to me, after that, you let him sex talk you. You let him start his conversation with you.

Continue this conditioning technique for a few times, and you'll see that he gets IT. He simply need to listen up, and then he gets his fill for the night/day/hour whichever that satisfies your man's appetite. When you make this a routine, by some miracle or chance, he may actually come around to communicating with you better because he will see that if he responds well to you, you are going to give it to him good (aren't you?).

Pavlov will be very proud of himself; man needs some conditioning, or if you'd rather, rewiring to get him get the formula right. With some help, and lots of drill-and-practice, sex is in your cards. No longer do you have to have sex when the man wants it.

This time onwards, you get to tell him who's boss : No talk, No sex.

, , ,

DIY stripper

 original image via complex.com

Most average women are not comfortable in their own skin. 

They rather get humped in the dark, or with some semblance of cover or clothes on them. 

Come to think of it, it is rather scary to have men get you laid in the dark. If he can't see your face, would you still think that he realise he is fucking you?

I'm not sure if the men find our not-perfectly-curved bodies sexy. That don't matter to the men, I guess, just as long as you can tease them and make them feel they want to grab you right there and then. 

Here's one tip to embrace Delilah (remember, it is all about the art of seduction):

Strip slowly.

You can imagine yourself to be an actress playing the role of a stripper, or you can pretend that you are a stripper. 

The key to stripping sexily for the amateur is to forget he is watching your every move. Just focus on yourself, and strip like you enjoy stripping. Men like to see that their women enjoy doing something, especially if that something is directly related to the woman's body. 

One button at a time, bend down a little, flick your long hair off your shoulder, bite your lip..you know, the common routines you see on the screen.

Imitate the actresses (porn or not), and improvise! 

When you are game enough, you can do the strip from head to toe at a distance from him. Instructing him that he cannot do anything but simply watch, and wait for you to undress. 

But if your nerves are frayed from the mere thought of stripping for him, just as I did for my first strip, it helps that you get on top of your man, unbutton your blouse (but leave one or two buttoned), lift your hands up, and pull the blouse off. That should do the trick to get him excited, and to get you get over your nerve-wrecking moment. This can be done in 30 seconds. By then, you would have his eyes fixed on your boobs and skin, that he would be more than willing to help you strip.

If this is your first time stripping, or if you are feeling uneasy, always inform your man before the act. Tell him something of this line , " I have never been too comfortable undressing in front of a man, but for you, I'm going to try my best". That should do the trick - he will be more merciful with you. It would also probably be a turn on for him, knowing that you are going the extra mile to please and pleasure him.

If all of these still cannot calm your nerves, dim the lights. I say, dim, not switch it off.

Dimmed lights can create a sensuous ambience, which may give the illusion that you are good and confidently stripping for him.

ready, set, TOUCH

 original image via here.

SEX for the beginners

Not everyone has a natural instinct for sex. Some of us need to learn. When I first make sense of sex, my teacher was a book. I was only 8 years old, and could not have possibly understood the title of the book. I remembered having taken it from a rack in my cousin's room. I was an avid reader, and this to me was just one of the many books.

It was not until I have read halfway then I realised that it was book for adults. By then it was too late to undo the damages. I had ventured into the world of sex via the written words. I was intrigued and fascinated.

See, it was a book about a girl who grew up, having a prostitute for a mom. One scene which is etched in my mind was the scene where the little girl described how , she watched through the ajar door of her mom's bedroom, her mom's sexcapade.

As a child, I find the scene rather mysterious.

My next few encounters with sex were via writers like Danielle Steel and Sidney Sheldon, who give sex a hopelessly, romantic touch or a primal, whore-like touch to it.

How is this important in understanding what sex is about?

Our first encounter with sex will set the tone for our sex lives. Believing that sex is mysterious, makes me want to experiment and venture out. What better way than to be caressed. A physical human touch, when orchestrated in a most sensual way, can leave you hungry for more. That was what I first read about sex, hence, sex should start with a touch.

If you are a first timer to sex, or someone who is jaded from sex, start afresh. Touch. Playful touching such as a squeeze on the thigh, a trail from the ear to the neck, or even a gentle caress of your man's palm is bound to get him reacted. Sex is about inviting him in to want you.

The first cardinal rule of sex is NEVER RUSH.

Men are known to be a glutton when it comes to sex. They want it now and they want it all. Being a Delilah is not about giving him all – it's about giving it to him blow by blow (figuratively speaking!). It's about the art of persuading him to want you to touch him more.

A sure way to invite your man in (especially when he is busy doing something else, and his eyes are not on you e.g when driving) is to gently place your hand on his crotch, pat lightly and remove your hand. Do this for a few times, extending the time you place your hand. The idea behind this is to tease him, and at the same time, creating pleasurable warmth, enough to make him want to stop whatever he is doing. At the same time, carry on your conversation with him, or if you are not conversing, simply carry on with your task.

Remember, sex is a mystery. He will be confused and excited, that he is now waiting for your next cue.

Delilah

original image via here

The story of Delilah is enshrined in the Hebrew Bible's chapter -The Judges (13-16). Samson was a Hebrew man with Herculean figure, possessing awesome strength. But yet then a seducer, named Delilah, caused his death and destruction over allurement of sex. 

Samson entrusted Delilah and told her that his strength would leave him if his hairs were cut off. While Samson was asleep, Delilah called up her men and had them shave off the seven locks from Samson's head - the miracle source of his strength. Samson, who was once known to have wrestled lions, destroyed an entire enemy camp just armed with donkey's jawbone, turned into someone that was as weak as a pussy cat. This made the art of seduction entirely triumph over the mighty strength of the legendary Samson.

Are you Delilah?